Day 26: Day with Dad
Over the last few years, I have not spent quality time with my Dad. I hit puberty - I didn't wanna chill with Dad. I was too pre-occupied with going out with friends and being cool. Then at the start of my 7th form year, my parents took over a korean restaurant in town. The result of this was that my mum and dad were having to work almost 12 hour days, 7 days a week for about a year until stability with the internal workings of the restaurant was achieved. After that, they got half and sometimes a full day off per week.
Obviously, this meant that I didn't get to see all that much of my parents. On their days off, they'd usually want to actually want to have a day off, and fair enough. When my parents finally sold the restaurant mid-last year, I was busy with uni, I was flatting, they went on holidays, so we still didn't see each other much. Holidays came and I left for Korea.
So today, I set aside everything else to spend a day with Dad. He came to pick me up in his new car early in the morning and we set off to do what I love doing most - going wherever the road takes us. We headed south along the coast (south is the nice side in Melbourne, east is good, north is ok - small trendy areas and some average places, west is not so good). Driving is a lot more difficult in Melbourne. Especially in town - there are trams to contend with and there's this weird thing where you turn right from the far left lane. Bizarre, but we got the hang of it in the end.
We saw some pretty sights, went for a stroll along a beach walkway etc. Then Dad had to meet his friend at his catholic church so we went there and he went to the service. I opted to stay out and went for a gander down the road, picked a nice bench and read my e-book that I've been really into lately (more on that when I finish).
Then we went to Chadstone mall. It was my dad's friend, his wife, my dad and I. The mall is fricken HUGE. It made me feel the bigness of Melbourne properly for the first time. We treated ourselves to some Boost Juice. Healthy juice store, I'm totally digging it. Then, we were off to this Chinese place for dinner. We had mud crabs and other assorted sea foods. It was great! It was fine dining with BYO. This was definitely the highlight of the day.
The food was superb and the drinks started flowing. Dad and his friend were on their A-game. They pretty much finished a bottle of red each. As they grew drunker, I was learning more. Dad was saying things that I hadn't heard him talk about much before. A lot of it was business related as he is looking to start up something over here. It made me realise his wiseness. He knows everything about the business dealings in the Korean community in Auckland - how everyone came to own a place, for how much, who shut up shop, who screwed over who, etc. He has so much experience not only in the business field but in many facets of life and is always so eager to pass it on to me - the unwilling, youngest child who is stubborn and wants to do things his own way. Foolish me. The more he talked, the more I was picking up on the fact that I am in fact a lot like him - not in the wiseness, but in terms of thought processes, emotional tendencies, drunk habits (he doesn't fall asleep though), and general demeanors.
Tonight, I truly appreciated having him as my dad. Hell, I'm lucky to have a dad at all. I wished I'd spent more time with him in the past. There is so much I could learn from him. What on earth has possessed this man to make him motivated enough to move to a new place again? 17 years after taking the gamble of his life, leaving his homeland to a foreign place with foreign people, to provide his family with a better life. Only to do it all again. But this time, he's approaching 60.
There are times now when I feel his age. It's funny because I still think of him as the young Dad who's stronger, smarter, fitter than every other when in actual fact he is nearing the age that people start thinking about retirement. Reality is, he's a lot slower to pick up on things now, more forgetful with things he would've easily remembered even five years ago. I'm starting to be able to see the resemblance between him and my granddad. I'm scared to turn 23 because every year is a step closer to the inevitable. I hate to imagine what it'd be like when you're 58.
I guess the bottom line of all this is to appreciate. Often, I find myself remembering to appreciate. But that's the thing - I remember to appreciate. I don't actually do the appreciating. On this particular occasion, it hit home particularly hard. It's been a busy day physically and mentally.
I drove Dad home after dinner and I had a nice 40 minute train ride home to internalise all of this and mull it over and if you've made it this far - congratulations, and thank you.
Peak: The moment when we stopped to rest during our walkway stroll with a great view of the ocean
Pit: Going back to the apartment
Obviously, this meant that I didn't get to see all that much of my parents. On their days off, they'd usually want to actually want to have a day off, and fair enough. When my parents finally sold the restaurant mid-last year, I was busy with uni, I was flatting, they went on holidays, so we still didn't see each other much. Holidays came and I left for Korea.
So today, I set aside everything else to spend a day with Dad. He came to pick me up in his new car early in the morning and we set off to do what I love doing most - going wherever the road takes us. We headed south along the coast (south is the nice side in Melbourne, east is good, north is ok - small trendy areas and some average places, west is not so good). Driving is a lot more difficult in Melbourne. Especially in town - there are trams to contend with and there's this weird thing where you turn right from the far left lane. Bizarre, but we got the hang of it in the end.
We saw some pretty sights, went for a stroll along a beach walkway etc. Then Dad had to meet his friend at his catholic church so we went there and he went to the service. I opted to stay out and went for a gander down the road, picked a nice bench and read my e-book that I've been really into lately (more on that when I finish).
Then we went to Chadstone mall. It was my dad's friend, his wife, my dad and I. The mall is fricken HUGE. It made me feel the bigness of Melbourne properly for the first time. We treated ourselves to some Boost Juice. Healthy juice store, I'm totally digging it. Then, we were off to this Chinese place for dinner. We had mud crabs and other assorted sea foods. It was great! It was fine dining with BYO. This was definitely the highlight of the day.
The food was superb and the drinks started flowing. Dad and his friend were on their A-game. They pretty much finished a bottle of red each. As they grew drunker, I was learning more. Dad was saying things that I hadn't heard him talk about much before. A lot of it was business related as he is looking to start up something over here. It made me realise his wiseness. He knows everything about the business dealings in the Korean community in Auckland - how everyone came to own a place, for how much, who shut up shop, who screwed over who, etc. He has so much experience not only in the business field but in many facets of life and is always so eager to pass it on to me - the unwilling, youngest child who is stubborn and wants to do things his own way. Foolish me. The more he talked, the more I was picking up on the fact that I am in fact a lot like him - not in the wiseness, but in terms of thought processes, emotional tendencies, drunk habits (he doesn't fall asleep though), and general demeanors.
Tonight, I truly appreciated having him as my dad. Hell, I'm lucky to have a dad at all. I wished I'd spent more time with him in the past. There is so much I could learn from him. What on earth has possessed this man to make him motivated enough to move to a new place again? 17 years after taking the gamble of his life, leaving his homeland to a foreign place with foreign people, to provide his family with a better life. Only to do it all again. But this time, he's approaching 60.
There are times now when I feel his age. It's funny because I still think of him as the young Dad who's stronger, smarter, fitter than every other when in actual fact he is nearing the age that people start thinking about retirement. Reality is, he's a lot slower to pick up on things now, more forgetful with things he would've easily remembered even five years ago. I'm starting to be able to see the resemblance between him and my granddad. I'm scared to turn 23 because every year is a step closer to the inevitable. I hate to imagine what it'd be like when you're 58.
I guess the bottom line of all this is to appreciate. Often, I find myself remembering to appreciate. But that's the thing - I remember to appreciate. I don't actually do the appreciating. On this particular occasion, it hit home particularly hard. It's been a busy day physically and mentally.
I drove Dad home after dinner and I had a nice 40 minute train ride home to internalise all of this and mull it over and if you've made it this far - congratulations, and thank you.
Peak: The moment when we stopped to rest during our walkway stroll with a great view of the ocean
Pit: Going back to the apartment
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